Michelle Schell Creations

I'm thinking about signing up with Cafepress or a similiar merchandiser so that people can actually buy some of the

'Michelle Schell Creations'

we have posted on the StalkerClan.

Who wouldn't want their very own Monk-Monk Mug or a custom Tee Shirt like these.

Send me your ideas for Tee Shirts, Bumper Stickers or whatever. I feel some good Christmas Gag Gifts coming this year...

Schell SHOCKED

By now you may have noticed that I've had to put an Adult Content warning on the StalkerClan Site. I was forced to by one of Michelle's risque stories. The following is another of her stories and I simply cannot bring myself to put it on the StalkerClan so close to Austin and Cameron in their little league uniforms and our Happy Birthday wish for Patty.

I'm thinking about renaming this site 'SchellSHOCKED' and putting her R-Rated and X-Rated stories here. Wait until you've read the following story then tell me what you think in the comments...

mmmm MMMM Chocolate I was with a certain relative the other day and we stopped at the restroom at a Quick Mart. Not wanting to go in by herself, she asked me to go in with her. I was staning there when I looked up at the birth control protection dispenser and said, "Thank goodness we don't need those things anymore." They looked at the machine and said, "Yes, using Kotexs are aggervating." I said that is not a Kotex machine, that is a birth control protection dispenser. She walked over and started reading the different catagories on the machine. Insert 75 cents it said. There were 4 machines and when she got to the 4th one it said "Chocolate, Strawberry and Vanilla". She said, "I thought you said this was a birth control protection dispenser." I said, "It is." She said, "Well, what is the chocolate, vanilla and the strawberry about?" I said, "You don't know?" She said, "NO. I don't." I began telling her my very limited knowlege of it and her face drew up and she put her hand up and said, "STOP IT, STOP IT, YOU'RE MAKING ME SICK!" Needless to say, they didn't get 75 cents from us. Posted by Michelle

Hey Ya, Charlie Brown

This is an old one but still one of my favorites...

Salyer Twins

Neil Salyer and his wife are the proud parents of new twin babies, one boy, one girl. Neil is a good friend of Bryan's. He went with us one year to Florida when he and Bryan were both in high school.

Postal Workers at Christmas

A postal worker was sorting mail a week before Christmas when he came across a letter addressed to God. Since it would be destroyed he decided to open the letter and read it.

Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension check. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I have invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me? Sincerely, Edna

The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends. Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened, it read...

Dear God, How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it must have been those thieving bastards at the post office. Sincerely, Edna